ACE in the Hole

Over the weekend, Kerry and I helped a man from TJ load my queen sized loft bed into his truck (scroll down for accompanying blog post). Our next door neighbor (not in our apartment complex, but one of the adjacent homes) approached us to find out what all the commotion was about. Once she was caught up on the bed, and between short Spanish phrases to our new friend, we chatted about what was happening in her life. She mentioned several trips she was preparing for, including one to Texas for a high school reunion (OGHS '98 grads, we'd better be in touch 40+ years from now!). She plans to stay in Texas for a month and then--here's the kicker--head back for a trip organized by ACE. She mentioned ACE as if everyone was clearly familiar with the organization. Of course, I was clueless.

"What's ACE?" I asked hesitantly. 

"Ohhhhh!" Her eyes lit up, and a broad smile spread across her face. "American Coaster Enthusiasts! I've been a member for years and years. They plan trips to see rollercoasters. And I get this newsletter and magazines . . . . I'm also a member of the European club, although I haven't been on their trips yet, but I will some day." 

Cool organization, in my opinion, for anyone to join. What I haven't told you yet, however, is her age. She told me once, but I honestly don't remember. I know she qualifies for the senior discount (it came up). 

Admittedly, I just stood there smiling in mild shock, allowing it to sink in that this woman-- who regularly wears crazy bright colors, a visor with a rainbow stripe, mardi gras beads, buttons, T-shirts purchased over the decades as momentos of her adventures, and I think is in her 70s--was an active member of a roller coaster club. It's not that I thought she couldn't be, and trust me, I believed her. I suppose I just didn't expect it.

Finally, I managed to exclaim, "Get outta town! That's SO COOL! My friends and I were just checking out the new coaster in Ohio that moves in a circle as it makes its way along the track . . ." 

She enthusiastically (no pun intended . . . American Coaster Enthusiasts) broke in. "Ohhhh, yeah, yeah! Pipe Scream, I think . . . I was reading about it in my Coaster Magazine." Now, who would have thought that this woman would be so on top of the latest coasters? 

  

When I'm able to stumble upon a topic that clearly causes passion and excitement--particularly if we're just getting acquainted--I try to keep talking about it, which of course is easier when the topic also happens to be something that I love, like roller coasters. "So," I inquired, raising one eyebrow, "which do you prefer: the newer, faster, crazier coasters or the traditional rickety wood coasters?" I never did get an answer. After pointing out the pluses and minuses of each, I think it's safe to say she's on the fence. Plus, you can't play favorites. Gotta try it all, right? ;-)

As with each and every day, there are many lessons in this story. None of them are new necessarily. You don't really know someone until you take the time to really talk with them. Life doesn't have to end as you age. Even if you live alone (and she may fully prefer it that way), you're never truly alone, and there may be friendly souls in places you least expect. I wonder . . . is she thinking something similar about me? I may be young--though not as young as I once was, funny how that works--but I find joy and connection in all ages and diverse people. 

I have my dad to thank for that, at least in part. I was raised belonging to a religious organization (that I am no longer a part of, but many things about it helped to create the woman I am today) in which the children, their parents, their grandparents, the elderly, and the infants, all congregated in one place, at all times. I visited my "Grandma Bennie," who wasn't even related to me, until she passed away. To this day, my dad's best friend, John Herman, is old enough to be his father. I consider John a good friend, as well, though I don't see him as much as I would like. In fact, I just remembered as well a project I had in elementary school where I had to interview an older family member and write a report about what we talked about. I interviewed my great grandma, my "Nanny." She was traveling around the world until the day she died. We played Scrabble together, and I'm convinced that she had a hand in at the very least encouraging my competitive edge.

Naida, the neighbor who belongs to ACE, if you're reading this blog (and I hope you were able to find it), I want to say thank you. Thank you for talking to Kerry and I, for sharing your stories of your adventures and your travels, and for telling us about a time we don't remember. I know we have plenty of time left to catch up and exchange stories (maybe I can even have you over to watch a movie on Netflix or watch coaster videos on YouTube). We live in a world world dangerously close to being overthrown by technology, where we convince ourselves that we are "too busy" to stop and say hello (it's an illusion, by the way, the whole notion of "busy"), or sometimes we are afraid that people won't care to chat. Just do it. Say hello. Chat. You only live once, and by darn, Naida and I will be enjoying the ride from the front row!

One Man's Trash

After being awake since 4am for a 5am shift, I was looking forward to sharing a Peet's Coffee & Tea Mango iced tea and good conversation with Kerry and our neighbor, Martin. I was mildly shocked when a man in a pick-up truck passed by us in the alley, rolled down the window, and actually spoke to us. "Excuse me. Ehhhh, you have furniture?" he asked, gesturing to his truck bed. It took us a moment to realize he was asking if we had any unwanted furniture that he could take off our hands. 

It's not atypical, especially on weekends, to see guys in pick-up trucks cruising the alleys for cast-offs of any type: mattresses, desks, tables, clothes, electronics, anything that will fit on that truck bed. With treasures piled higher than one would ever imagine possible, the men (and women, sometimes) carefully make the trek south back home . . . to Tijuana, Mexico, and families eager to see what the day has brought them. It's quite common in San Diego, actually. The goods are brought back to TJ and donated to families who need them. My neighbors joke that "those guys will take anything. Just leave it by the dumpster and it'll be gone by morning." It's kind of true. 

One man's trash is another man's treasure . . . 

So what was different about today's experience? I'll tell you. Today, the man could have continued down the alley, seeing nothing in plain sight that he could load up on his truck. But he didn't. He took the initiative, and he asked if we had anything we would like to give. He wasn't pushy. He was sincere, humble (his English "is not so good"), and he was kind. I couldn't pass up this opportunity.

Some of you are aware of my queen sized, solid wood loft bed. I used it for a few years, moved it twice (thanks to my dad and our family friend, Kyle, and Kyle's truck), before finally deciding I needed to downgrade to a more traditional box spring and mattress on a metal frame. That decision was made at least 4 years ago. It's always bothered me that such a beautiful piece of furniture, custom made for a couple that was in their 80s by the time I bought it for $600 (half what they were asking), was just gathering dust in my garage. And believe me, I tried to get rid of it. Posted it on Craigslist, contacted donation centers, hoped someone would want it. No takers, even free. It was simply too awkward and cumbersome to justify picking up. Not to mention, putting it together without essembly instructions (but I was willing to throw in wood stain that came with it!). By the time Kerry moved in, it became evident that I needed the space in the garage. Plus, I couldn't shake the guilt that perfectly good firniture was going to waste. 

So yes, this man driving by and asking, "You have furniture?" was quite a blessing. I told him I might, but we would need to see. I sized up the truck, which already had 2 flexible mattresses, a wood corner display case, a chair, and some other things. I must admit, I had my doubts. Besides, it's been years since I've seen all the pieces of the bed, and I've been lucky in the past having other people to help disassemble, move, and reassemble it. This man, though, was confident that it would fit. "No problem, no problem," he kept repeating with a smile. I told him it was heavy; he pointed to his large biceps. Okay, I thought to myself, this guy wants to try, more power to him. I opened up the garage, and he looked at the many pieces that comprise the monstrosity of a bed, lifted up a piece to check the weight, and declared, "Yes, I will take it." 

Together, Kerry and I helped who I later learned is Felipe Hernandez rearrange his truck and add every single last piece of that bed. He secured everything with numerous straps and ropes. As we worked and sweated, we talked about our families, our homes, and our jobs. He explained to Kerry that he would bring back all the items he collected and give them to a family in need in TJ. We talked about the violence in his country right now, and he surprised and briefly saddened both Kerry and me with a story about his coworker who was fatally shot last month by a gunman who randomly opened fire at a party. The man was playing guitar in a band over the weekend, didn't show up to work on Monday, and Felipe found out the devastating news later that day. To lighten the mood, he wrote down the name of a video on YouTube that his daughter posted of him and another family member dancing at a party. In the video, Felipe is playing guitar, wearing boots, shorts, and a sombrero. "Es muy chistoso!" he giggled (it is, by the way. If you want to see it, ask me, and I'll provide the YouTube link or video title).

So many lessons in this somewhat random interaction. Language barriers are only barriers if you give them that power. Nothing is impossible with a little help from your friends. Don't assume something won't work; try it, and then assess the situation. Along those lines, don't assume that just because what you want isn't out in plain view, it doesn't exist. ASK. And finally, be grateful. Be grateful every day for what you have and for what is passed on for you to enjoy.

It took us a full two and half hours to get the bed and all the additional items loaded into the truck and well secured. I discovered the bed on Craigslist over ten years ago. After watching the posting and realizing that nobody was buying it, I finally broke down and begged my parents to help me purchase and move it, making my childhood dream of owning a loft bed a reality. I am so incredibly thankful for this unexpectedly productive and heartwarming day. Thanks to one man making the most of an opportunity, somebody else will be able to enjoy that wonderful, albeit large, piece of furniture . . . which I am confident they will treasure for generations to come.

Felipe and his treasures.
If you would like Felipe to come pick up items you no longer use, I have his contact information.

Toys, Engineering, Eggs (huh?), and CWIC (Celebrating Women in Computing)

"[:02] This is your brain.

[:17] This is your brain on princess.

[:40] This is your brain on engineering.

[1:18] Any questions?"

http://youtu.be/ArNAB9GFDog

Seen it yet? Debbie Sterling and her amazing company GoldieBlox have done it again. If you aren't familiar with her work, I highly recommend her Tedx Talk, "Inspiring the Next Generation of Female Engineers: Debbie Sterling at TedxPSU." What will YOU do to ensure girls are not just allowed but ENCOURAGED to build, design, code, take apart, investigate, and even (safely, with adult supervision) blow things up and fly? 

You know I love a princess. However, I also love giving girls and women a CHOICE. It's now undisputed that the toys our girls are provided as options comprise, at least in part, whether subliminally or knowingly, their beliefs regarding the roles they are capable of having in society. Yes, what is possible, what is accessible, what exists, what is real, even the very dreams of what she wants to be when she grows up--from toys. 

If you have a little girl in your life, get her a GoldieBlox "toy." (If you don't have a girl in your life, you are not off the hook. Go find one. Hint: donate to schools, shelters, doctor's office waiting rooms, and toy drives! If you have trouble finding the product, ask for it. If you're really feeling inspired, ask for the integration of "boys" and "girls" toys in stores (online and off).

The things of play today are the foundational building blocks of our daughters' woman's the world's . . . tomorrow.  Expose her to ALL the options. See what she gravitates toward, her aptitudes, and in doing so, tell her you recognize, appreciate, and respect her mind. (And yes, still let her play with dolls). 

You see, putting toys designed to develop the minds of budding engineers on the play rug next to those for dress-up and babies (conspired to create consumers of make-up and motherhood?) is more powerful than you may think. Through toys, we acknowledge careers and give permission to dream, and deliver a powerful message--we believe she is capable of success. It's a promise--a promise to give her the tools, resources, education, and support necessary to ACCESS, PURSUE, and ultimately SUCCEED in making her engineering/IT/CS/etc dream a reality. 

It is MY dream that some day people can look back on this post and not understand it . . . because why wouldn't a little girl play with engineering toys (remember Mouse Trap?) and of course she can be in IT! I am confident that we will get there. 

The Celebrating Women in Computing conference I attended over the weekend was primarily geared toward college-aged women pursuing degrees in IT (both undergrad and postgrad). (Click here for program details, and view information on the keynote speakers and topics here . . . the Academic Keynote was fascinating, but that's another blog entirely). I was both inspired and humbled by the participants. I was also thrilled to see the encouragement they were receiving by so many huge industry names (sponsors include Google, Qualcomm, Microsoft Research, ACM-W, ViaSat, Yelp, General Atomics, Harvey Mudd College, UCSD, Point Loma Nazarene University, UCSB, and Pomona College).

A real-life example of the kind of programs I am referring to was provided by the participants of WISH Cal Poly (Women Involved in Software & Hardware), "club that was founded by females of the Computer Science Department at California Polytechnic State University, San Luis Obispo, in 2007." Student mentoring programs like WISH are catapulting us in the right direction. According to the WISH website:

"WISH has two primary aims:

1. Providing a community of support for females in computing majors and minors.

2. Continually evaluating and attempting to rectify the gender gap in computing majors and minors and/or looking for the reasons behind the gender gap."

Listening to the panel of four students and their faculty advisor, Julie Workman, gave me goosebumps. I am a strong supporter of mentoring programs and the passion and support it breeds. It also made me a little sad, for if I had access to that kind of program 15 years ago, I just might have had the courage to declare CS as a major myself. I hope that some day, we don't need WISH. We're not there yet, though. 

Women with a career in computing and engineering, I applaud you. I urge you to look into programs to encourage more women and girls to follow in your footsteps, and should you not find any, to CREATE it (after all, BUILDING is what you do). Don't stop there. Be a mentor. Help her graduate, and then make those big names fight for her. Yes, she's just THAT good :D