Who is Saving Whom?

In times like this, I find myself echoing the words of my father that I've heard more times than is probably expected: "You're not trained for this. This isn't something you should have to handle. You can't be responsible for someone else's actions, only your own. Take care of YOU. I love you and your loving, caring, empathetic nature... but I'm concerned." Kerry has just told me that she helped a stranger in a group from committing suicide tonight. I worry about the effect on Kerry if things had gone differently--if the FFB PM replies had simply stopped in a deafening silence. . . .

But they didn't stop, at least not tonight. And it was she who was there tonight for a reason. Who are we to question the timing? If it's partially a method of escapism, so be it. Mother Theresa and type 2 enneagram poster child? Wear it like you mean it. 

Dad is right. We aren't equipped to handle this burden of life compounded by whacky chemical imbalances and genes gone awry. We shouldn't have to do this--nobody should--but we DO, and we WILL. We're not trained in what? Life? Connection? Energy and mediation, listening, heartache, pain, and ultimately love? But we are. It's not yet perfected, nor can it ever be, for it is ever evolving, ever improving, and ever amazing. We are all driven by purpose, recognized or not. Most of recognize the need for balance. Some of us find condolence in survival of the fittest; others wish for fairy tale endings at every turn. Not all interactions with sorrow and despair (whether our own or other's) result in the happy ending we have come to equate with success. We will not always triumph in the way that is expected, or that we hope. Still, for a moment we are one with the whole of suffering, we are a part of something larger than ourselves, and we are present. Whether that presence saves the life it was intended this dark night may be secondary... Look in the mirror, my darling... You may have just saved yourself.

Learn more, "dare greatly" (Brene Brown), and create hope by visiting 

www.hopexchangeconsultancy.org

Hope Xchange Steering Committee Introductions (Extended)

*tap tap tap* is this thing on? This exercise deserves more than a few sentences, but in the interest of space constraints and respecting your time, I will try to be brief. I am Kerry's partner. Before Kerry, I'm not sure how familiar I was with Bipolar Disorder, although I am quite familiar with several other struggles. . . . I get lost in thought every few words, to be honest with you.

Loving someone is risky and scary enough when both people are healthy. All relationships are a blend of "perfectly imperfect" people. However, a relationship involving bipolar disorder will reflect the ups and downs of a "normal" (whatever that means) relationship in hypercolor--a result of the mania and depression experienced during cycles. Support, understanding, and a network of safe sounding boards, a listening ear, and a kind smile can make a WORLD of difference, particularly when everything seems to blur . . . when once again "normal" has taken on a new meaning and not everyone in your usual circles "gets" that... Doesn't mean they don't care and I guarantee that they DO love you--they just don't get it.

I don't claim to be an expert. I know others have been here before me, for longer periods of time, and it's not about who did better... It's not a competition. Life is a journey, and we are ALL in it together. "Community" is a word that is very precious to me, for reasons I'm sure will be revealed at some point. Kerry seemed surprised by my desire to be involved in Hope Xchange, to which I responded, "I don't want to be 'involved'; I AM Hope Xchange. I'm LIVING it." I'm living it. Every day. Key word--LIVING. So what does this mean for Hope Xchange?

I'm a writer. I always have been. I don't write nearly enough currently. Secularly, I'm connected in ways I sometimes take for granted. At my core, I love deeply. In a world with "causes" everywhere you turn, it's hard to determine where to shine your light... Except like in this case, when it means survival for the woman you love, countless others, and even yourself, and when embracing vulnerability and allowing the passion to overflow from the intimate moments to something bigger is, well, the only answer.

I hope to play the largest role in the BF2BF arena, but also wherever I'm needed of course.

Honestly, I only wish there was more time in the day...

www.hopexchangeconsultancy.org