In times like this, I find myself echoing the words of my father that I've heard more times than is probably expected: "You're not trained for this. This isn't something you should have to handle. You can't be responsible for someone else's actions, only your own. Take care of YOU. I love you and your loving, caring, empathetic nature... but I'm concerned." Kerry has just told me that she helped a stranger in a group from committing suicide tonight. I worry about the effect on Kerry if things had gone differently--if the FFB PM replies had simply stopped in a deafening silence. . . .
But they didn't stop, at least not tonight. And it was she who was there tonight for a reason. Who are we to question the timing? If it's partially a method of escapism, so be it. Mother Theresa and type 2 enneagram poster child? Wear it like you mean it.
Dad is right. We aren't equipped to handle this burden of life compounded by whacky chemical imbalances and genes gone awry. We shouldn't have to do this--nobody should--but we DO, and we WILL. We're not trained in what? Life? Connection? Energy and mediation, listening, heartache, pain, and ultimately love? But we are. It's not yet perfected, nor can it ever be, for it is ever evolving, ever improving, and ever amazing. We are all driven by purpose, recognized or not. Most of recognize the need for balance. Some of us find condolence in survival of the fittest; others wish for fairy tale endings at every turn. Not all interactions with sorrow and despair (whether our own or other's) result in the happy ending we have come to equate with success. We will not always triumph in the way that is expected, or that we hope. Still, for a moment we are one with the whole of suffering, we are a part of something larger than ourselves, and we are present. Whether that presence saves the life it was intended this dark night may be secondary... Look in the mirror, my darling... You may have just saved yourself.
Learn more, "dare greatly" (Brene Brown), and create hope by visiting
www.hopexchangeconsultancy.org
No comments:
Post a Comment